Hey, Lets Make a Baby

A society of openness is one that I desperately love to live in someday. It will be a place where one can simply blurry it out: #embracingawkwardness #bocc

Strange Excitement: The Return

So, I have to wear sanitary pads and it’s coming to four weeks following intralesional cryotherapy of a terrible keloid on my groin. Maximum respect to ladies who wear this stuff monthly, graciousness! The discomfort, pant bulging and having to switch them throughout the day? Oh! hell no, this shit is exhausting. However, great thanks…

Shit Ladies Get Away With

An urge to bust chops is escalating and dry humping my inner most subconsciousness; I don’t think I can take it anymore. Call I delusional, but a screwed-up head of mine is rocking back and forth in suspense, wondering how these lovely ladies do it? Why not dive right in rather than mumbling around? Sexuality:…

The Phone Number = You’re Screwed

Thirty-one years old and I still don’t get it as to why many make it a big IT: getting a phone number of someone they have a massive crush on? I used to hear about it in lyrics, so I felt cool on a day I got a crush’s number on a napkin. And yes,…

The Healing Power of Sailing Away

I forgive but I don’t forget; so, whatever shit you believe in, don’t dare mention it. I am neither an Almighty nor suffering from brain damage; and please, never ever use a demented stupid excuse of having been drunk or on drugs. Messed up traditions and society norms encourage people to keep trying and working…

Say Vagina and Die

Vagina, vagina, vagina; why the heavenly hell are you uncertain? I had you before I popped out, but, but you were fucken stubborn and never reappeared…. A firm NO, I am not initiating a vagina dialogue. But, but, when I think about it, it will turn out picture perfect and sound cool. Worry less, I…

Abort Unwanted Babies To Be

Yes, I know, I should have been aborted, now shut it and read on. And I wouldn’t think of a better time to share this than during the approaching festive season meant to be filled with joy and fun. Thanks be to embracing sluts and exploring bodies meant to be shared. However, thousands of unwanted…

People Do Not Change: But an Arsehole Will be a Butthole

There is a good chance that the featured image is of an actual butthole… I used to be super positive in life, until a day I discovered that the human race is more screwed up than hinges of a maximum prison gate. This followed a series of betrayals and being protested against, by those I…

Second Chances Don’t Exist

Life isn’t a rehearsal or damn video game; but the fucken camera keeps rolling. I am pretty sure those words roughly combined in that way, do sound familiar. And no, I am not contradicting myself with a previous blog post: A Big Fat Lie, in which I stated that there is no such thing as…

Tingling Friends with Benefits

There are times when you are surrounded by a crowd, but feel out of place and lonely. During such times, it is good to know that there is a dear one you can rely on. However, in this current era filled with opportunistic beasts enclosed in smiley human faces, finding someone to truly rely on,…

Have You Been Penetrated Enough?

In the early 90s, that would be sexist, and I would be hunted down by movements advocating for equality. But, but, it is a 21st sextury in which anyone can take it in really deep. Carrots and cucumbers have also sneaked their way into the bathroom. Well, I take it back; dining tables and kitchen…

Perverted Juror

I used to think that human genitals are strange. It wasn’t until I encountered human brains, which dialed strangeness to a whole new and unknown level of arseholery. But, but, seriously, have you ever wondered what the crap goes on in minds of a jury, when they see a defendant for a first time? I…