Say Vagina and Die

Vagina, vagina, vagina; why the heavenly hell are you uncertain? I had you before I popped out, but, but you were fucken stubborn and never reappeared….

A firm NO, I am not initiating a vagina dialogue. But, but, when I think about it, it will turn out picture perfect and sound cool. Worry less, I will gently script it out in a near future.

It is interesting how rarely the word vagina is heard of. It is neither a bad word, I don’t think so, nor is it meant to instill evil amongst one who utters it out loud. As far as I remember, I have never heard of anyone scream out the word vagina on the streets when pissed. On another hand, it’s on several accounts that I have witnessed individuals laugh out loud while chanting cheerfully: penis, penis, penis. I dare you to find anyone whose forehead and face have been drawn on a bunch of vaginas and clits, especially after a drunken night out. Furthermore, I being a music fun, no song comes to mind in which I heard the word vagina phrased in stylishly.

Hash tag that and halt for a moment before bubbling out how the “p” and “c” words are used often in lyrics. If you are someone who uses the “p” or “c” words, I dare you to replace them with vagina. I may not be present, but I am damn sure it won’t sound right. You will witness a feeling of strangeness wiping across your thoughts.

I strive hard to answer the question as to why individuals avoid saying vagina; but I come up with nothing. Could it have to do with shyness of the vagina itself and failing to stand firm when called upon? Only wish I had a vagina of my own, then I could answer my own questions.

More questions and mysteries about vaginas are on a rise. This probably has to do with there being hardly any information about them. I place blame unto messed up societies deeming vaginas to be some form of sacred thing. I expected full disclosure when inquiries rise so as to get a better understanding of how vaginas operate. Unfortunately, bumping into a stranger and asking how their vagina is swaying along; I have been told, it is very inappropriate and never to do it again.

Having twiddled through several advanced courses of human biology and anatomy, it was on rare occasions that the word vagina was heard of. But, but, I expected to hear more of it, since it’s the vagina which brings forth life, enhancing survival. Maybe I should have become a vagina doctor? And oh please, don’t get I started on individuals who have coined a whole lot of series of nicknames such as house, case, French withered pear, Altar of nevus, beaver, fish lips, bajingo, juice box, papaya and the list goes on; meant to shy away from the actual word: VAGINA: Do you have a personally coined favorite vagina name? Share it in the comments below.

I make another wish: I wish I could grow my own vagina; I would cherish and praise it on a daily basis. My vagina would be protected like a tiny whiny bitch and her shit. Absolutely no intrusion accepted, unless a thorough evaluation is done. This is not because I would become more selfish than I am at the moment; or a better way to state it: become more independent, but it would be because; according to I, a vagina is something which is truly precious and deserves maximum respect. Thanks be to advancements cruising through modern medicine and beauty, but unfortunately; I am fucken low on funds. It would be a good thing for I to possess a vagina for at least a week; just to get the feeling. My only worry then would be ending up with damaged first two digits.

interacting and relating, sex education

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Nadine says:

    This is hilarious/pensive fab, and in your usual signature style, but my favourite line: “My vagina would be protected like a tiny whiny bitch” 😂👌😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Joseph says:

      🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 you are now making me feel shy dear 🤔😋😄😄😆😆😆 Rounds of applauds to you 👏 👏

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nadine says:

        Now I’m spluttering over my tea as I see your reply, and come back here to re-read your line… I think I have to print it and hang it somewhere. Or can you maybe make a set of coasters out of it? 😂😘

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Joseph says:

        👏 👏 great idea Nadine… Am to add it to my list if lines to print on clothes someday when I startup a clothing line 😊😆😅😅

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Nadine says:

        Oh yes on a pink v-neck t-shirt, that would be the best. 😄👚✅

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Joseph says:

        Brilliant idea dear, and it will be bright pink 👊 🏅 🕊

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Chris Hall says:

    Did you ever catch this play? I instantly thought…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Joseph says:

      I didn’t catch the play but read the original version for my Multicultural Women’s Studies course in college for a project. Thanks Chris for sharing that. Going to look it up 👊 😋


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