Free Spirited Child

I am fed up hearing: what is wrong with children of today? The actual question to be asked is, what is wrong with adults of today?

Growing up, I was portrayed and perceived as a shy kid. Looking back, I wish those nearby knew the nature of thoughts which revolved in my brain. Thoughts possessed from an early childhood were unique, compared to those of my age-mates. Keeping to myself with my thoughts, was an option, thus portrayed as quiet and shy. I was different, unlike most children who are optimistic and ravished with false hopes of shadowed dreams. Often times, these dreams were blended with demented delusions of hallucinating grownups, nearby and looked up to. These adults, to present day, continue to torture children, demanding to know what a child wants to be when they grow up?

Much as my thought processing system is questioned daily, as a child, I remember quietly questioning minds of grownups, who asked what I want to be when grown? Sadly, thanks be to screwed culture and traditions, I could never tell them how ridiculous they sounded. First off, I had no idea what they meant by when I grow up? Does someone reach a state which marks them grownup? Then they stop? And that’s their life forever? What if, I grow up and then want to change who I am? Is it possible? Or I will always be stack with who I am once grown?

Later I found out about this thing they were referring to, to be known as careers. A few of them I knew of, but details were lacking. I wondered if there was a way I could get rid of ridiculously questioning adults, demanding a career of I? Faking a smile while shying away, sometimes did the trick. Unfortunately, adults included teachers I envied for their knowledge. They never tempted to explain what a career was. In most cases, I stated what someone else, from at least two seats before said, or simply chanted out the most stated out career of the day, with a screwed smile on my face.

Although I had no clue of what I wanted to be, I was fascinated with sciences and numbers. I was skeptical about life events and how they occurred. As a result, I hoped for a career involving sciences and numbers. As to how much of that I have so far achieved, am still questioning myself whether I am a grown up yet? And left, to listen to a cry of an Elite Researcher.

Three decades have rolled through time and space, I realize there was a free spirit trapped within a cute adorable and innocent little I. Unfortunately, accepted norms of a society belonged to, bound I into a rigid framework shied away from. Childhood moments remembered in bits, raise memories held unto, as I rationalize and analyze it all. It still doesn’t make sense, why someone must have a detailed laid out and thoroughly thought through plan, of what their life should be. What if fate strikes from a black burner and it all goes south? How disappointing will that be?

I lack a detailed future plan, only a series of random thoughts and ideas, roaming back and forth in irregular patterns with in my head. As a result, when an idea never goes according to plan, less frustration is witnessed. I am able to pick myself up and try something different. As adults, let us not bury the free-spirited nature, a child is born with, but guide them towards achieving their true desires, and not perturbed delusions of society, termed as “normal”. I am still waiting for someone to let I know, who truly determines what “normal” is? Do you consider yourself as being normal? Or you often screw up norms of a society you struggle to blend in daily?

More detailed life insights in Altered Life Perceptionsavailable in electronic and audio formats from various stores and libraries.

Keywords: forced ambitions, norms of society