A new year is underway; a time to get everything in order. It is a grand gesture to initiate goals destined at transforming one into a successful being. But, but, are you willing to take up the challenge? If not, let us cut the crap and admit: nothing has changed. The sun still rises and sets in cycles, so will your lifestyle. Back-lashing through, new years are demented delusions of self-proclaimed world dominators, forcing others into believing, that a new beginning is doomed to be on a rise. Fortunately, we know it: the great Mayans screwed up, so are the world dominators. Cutting to the chase, let I grind and grill forth the most common new year’s resolutions, pronounced as delusional false hopes. However, can we turn them into a reality?
Other than flipping to a new calendar; plus going digital, making most events to be automatically updated, I shall start with an obvious: Exercise more: Mwahahaha, simply accept a fact that you are one lazy damn couch potato propagating unto fertile soils. These soils happen to belong to whichever shithole you reside in. Creativity is on the virtue of becoming forgotten history. Rather than claiming that one will exercise more, be specific and precise: as in, simply jot down exercises one will be doing, over a specific time interval.
Eat health: Sort of goes a long side with exercising more. Thanks, be to dieting and cheat days, where a good number of individuals continuously starve themselves, and later pig in and out.
Get out more: Can you please first put down that damn screened thingy? And now stay away from it, without sneaky peeping at it for the next few hours. Let us make it an easy one: only four hours. Any takers?
Reconnect with friends: Not forgetting about all the missed calls you intentionally missed, claiming to be busy, you are so busted. It is alright, simply accept that you are one selfish and cool bastard of a stranger.
Family time: Sweetie, you spent the whole festive season roaming back and forth like angels visiting hell. How in the bloody heavens, will you adjust your untamed movements, to fulfill that shit?
Time to myself: I am quite not sure as to whether I should proceed by asking what the heavenly hell are you bloody grooving about? Or simply murmuring? If you need to have more time to yourself, you most probably shouldn’t be speaking to I.
Appreciate more: Sounds like a sort of picture perfect idea. Thus, kick start off the fucken year, by throwing a damn kick arse party. Just don’t be a total trailing shithead at it. And I deserve to receive the first invitation.
Positive to shit: Allow I to fucken stop you right there: As far as the International Constitution of Socializing rolls, your lips need to get bleached first; only and perhaps only then, will you view positivity in shit trending in your life.
Worry less: I have heard about that thing, of worrying less, on several accounts. Just heads up, that shit never ends well. Unless, as you know in society, there is always an exception. So, why the hell not proceed?
Accept challenges: Speechless; Is what tingles my delicate moist lips, as I leave that new year’s resolution in your brain.
Let’s raise, whatever one is sipping, to a new year, destined for greatness, and of course, jam packed with exciting events and aspects of living.
Happy New Year. Stay Awesome and Keep Cool
A brief of Sudden Resolutions from “Altered Life Perceptions” All Rights Reserved
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