Cultures and Traditions Suck

I don’t know about you, but I aim at visiting at least 50 countries,and live in at least ten. Six months is good enough to familiarize oneself with the general landscape and lifestyle of a country. Unfortunately, this thing called norms of societies, encapsulated in screwed shit of cultures and traditions,sort of hinder yours truly, from doing so. Well, there is the expense part of it, but that will be discussed later. For the moment, let us gain a firm grip on squeezing the living crap, out of these things called culture and traditions. A point to note, I am a huge fun of traditional dances, and they should keep that shit alive. But anything else pertaining to culture and traditions, it should be banished. Hear I out:

Sexists: Holy shit, please don’t get I started on this. There is nothing more annoying than being told, “that is meant and only done by males, and the other is done by females only”. Are you fucken creeping I? Haven’t these culturally locked-in arseholes heard of how shitty gender is fluid

Segregation: We are twiddling towards globalization of the human race. With many cultures differing in ways of living, globalizing of the human species becomes tricky. Corked cultural leaders encourage their members to maintain their values, thus easier to keep in company with members of their “own”. Shocking.

Language: With a vision of touring the world on a low-income budget, apparently, I can’t do that. With shitty savings, I most definitely can’t afford a fucken 24-hour translator. Thanks be to many languages brought about by cultures. Fuck it, am out.

Advancement: This becomes a serious pain in the neck. I need to setup a three-stoned fire place for preparing food. Lovely eyes of mine are damaged and darkened.  The latter wouldn’t be a bad thing, if and only if; read further down.

Beauty: Dialing back to a culture I am supposed to belong to, but I chose to abandon at an early age, light skinned or white, and being fat are considered beautiful. It is just too sad to even type out. As far as I am concerned, if you happen to possess extra layers of energy storage, put them to use. And for the light skinned – white shit, I am Mexican.

Walking on eggshells: No, no, no, and a firm no. I am not going to sit around and listen to a someone go on mumbling about a bunch of bullshit,because according to my culture, I am supposed to be humble, polite and considerate. Well, I will offer you all that, if and only if, you truly deserve it. I am no saint. Wait a bloody minute, acts of saints were also logical. So please, get your shit together.

Elders of societies: Yeah right, I agree: you most definitely have had more sex than I, but I may have adventured more than you, so shut it. Apart from being noticed and recognized, this is another reason as to why I embarked on sciences: no matter how old you are, you are valued in the science community by your knowledge, facts and reasoning; and not how many holidays you have celebrated. Thanks culture.

Cultural Leaders: Oh please, don’t get I started on these people. I have no idea as to what in the hell they truly do? Apart from being highly respected and offered free shit on a regular basis, can someone please explain to my screwed up black arse, as to what in a fucked-up heaven, cultural leaders do? As in, really put their hands to or full brains into?

For the greater good: Unfortunately, this phrase which I don’t fully understand has found its way into cultureless societies of today. For that demented reason, I offer a pass to fucked up cultures structured upon it.I guess my morality is in check.

Decency: Well, it’s a bit tricky. I love the cultural reed dance performed annually by Swazi and Zulu cultures, so keep that up. Wait, I already agreed to keeping all traditional dances and accompanying attire, thus no need to explain myself further. However, for the devil’s ultimate sake, stop shitting about how current generations dress indecently.

Seriously, I don’t get it as to why some are struggling to maintain cultures and traditions. We need to get rid of that shit, except for the dances, for the good of humanity.

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