I Love You: Thank You

What better day to ruin people’s “Valentine great romantic ideas”, than a day before?

Please tell I that you have ever witnessed such a sucking situation? And you happened to be the sad recipient of the thank you, after pouring out your heart and delusional feelings to the other?

Oh dear, yes, I have, and it wasn’t a good feeling. Worsening the situation, it was the first time I “opened-up” to a someone, trying out this thing called fucken love. I guess I should have listened to my instincts, reason and logic. I shouldn’t have given in, into feelings and emotions. Not especially emotions. Somehow, I regret it less, as I know how it feels like, and don’t think of it happening again. Worry less, I never made it a big deal, nor caused a huge scene on the outside. I continued the romantic evening as planned, while burning and boiling secretly in the inside. I think she must have wondered why I never acted up. I know, I am one of a kind. However, when I think about it, I guess I secretly returned the thank you feeling to her, keeping her second guessing, what the heavenly hell, was going on in my mind, when she responded with a thank you, and I smiled away.

The so-called love arena is truly a tricky and messed up one. Many, including I, sort of avoid it with jokes and weird moments cherished daily; that I come to confess. It did so happen, not long ago, that I happened to be the one who was told I love you. At that moment, I remember getting brain disease, as my thought processing system halted. Oh shit, I should have told this to an ex, before typing it out. Okay, here is the thing, I never replied thank you, but I just never responded, which could be worse. Is it? As in, would you prefer someone responding with a thank you, or not saying anything at all? It is such a sticky and twisted situation, and I happened to be at both ends.

Sometimes, when suffering from luck of shit to do, which is a very rare occurrence, I try to review a love life of mine. The picture isn’t pretty, but I am glad, it is the way it is. This is mainly because, as far as I am concerned, I don’t remember, ever screwing someone over, with a sole purpose of personal gains or benefits. Well, some may claim that perhaps I simply just never find out, as many humans are turning out to be closed off, sucking it all up, and keeping it all in deep.

Regardless of your stance, on the I love you: thank you dilemma, a query remains, what happens next? In both situations for I, it never worked out, as expected. However, I keep wondering, whether it was for the better? And for others I know of, who happened to be in similar situations such as I, their relationships, never lasted. Some logged on for a little longer, but there was no going back.

I don’t get it why some dear ones tell I that I should have held on longer, and “fought” for the relationship. For I, in both situations, it was crystal clear: parties involved, were having differing views about the damn fucken relationship. I don’t know which one of us was perhaps giving in more than the other? Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter, an imbalance was created. Out of curiosity, have you ever been in the I love you: thank you shenanigans and in the end, it worked out? Or know of such a couple? If so, how did you go about it?