And Her Name is Candy

We have heard about it: how your heart skips a bit every time that someone comes around, or how you will love them till the end. And my favorite: you would catch a grenade for them. Of course, I am assassinating myself out of the scenario, since I am all in and down to reality in its fullness. Glorifying someone you greatly adore, is good and fine, including occasional compliments with credits. However, there are situations in which it is damn obvious, and simply sounds ridiculously stupid tossing someone a demented line of flattery. Since I used to be a splendid social clown, and constantly interacted even with random strangers on streets, I used to use flattery to grab others’ attention. This assisted in initiating of amazing and catchy conversations; you are welcome.

With vast amounts of information across the world-wide-web, it is truly difficult to come up with something new. At such a moment, creativity is essential, as we struggle to keep up with changes occurring. This includes getting rid of flattery lines which involve one’s physiology: ranging from telling someone how you can’t breathe in their absence, to the food eaten never tasting good. In case you decide to cling unto that catastrophic path of lousy physiology flattery lines, you my dear, should check yourself into a psychiatric ward. Well, of course, I am aware that there are changes which occur in one’s physiology, say when a dear someone is in proximity. Sadly, most of the flattery references made, are misconceptions, pertaining to the physiological changes which occur.

One’s heart skipping, is illogical, so is failing to breathe or consume food. Taking a closer analysis at these common misperceived aspects of flattery, it boils down to demented ignorance. As far as the human body is concerned, a sudden sight of a loved one, would cause a blood rush, due to increased heart rate, and not necessarily skipping of a heart. This reminds I of someone, who told I that their heart makes a complete turn, in their chest cavity, every time they think of I. Flattered as I was, I decided to smack her butt; and a sexual assault case was filed. Great. Indeed, payback is a damn son of a skinny ugly whore: for all the times, I messed around with her feelings.

Any who, since we are residing in an opportunistic world of this goddammit twenty-first century, we need to embrace awkwardness which raises, especially during times of flattery. This includes publicly being called sweet cute pet names, often coined from crap we like. I seem to be going on and on, and you may be wondering: Joseph, what is the damn point you are driving at? Well, an aspect of avoiding social awkwardness and weirdness, isn’t an easy thing, thus deserves to be handled carefully.

Don’t take I wrong and twist words of I: I am not against flattery, but it must be meaningful, with lots of sense embedded in it. Not forgetting about science and logic, let us not simply bubble out phrases, with an ultimate intention of simply penetrating a someone. Although the latter sounds super cool.

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