Tormenting Dilemma

Trying out something new, is what many aspire to do, but only a brave few, can pull it off. Time has gone by, since I wrote my first book: Ricocheting Regrets; Sadness in my Positivity, which was a strange thing for I. I wasn’t familiar with how the book writing industry worked, thus no idea, how to get started. However, great thanks be to the information era, we are living in. Vast amounts of information on anything one can think or imagine of, are out there, or at least something related to it. All that is needed of a someone, is to cruise through available information, and identify that which is authentic, essential and useful to them. Luckily enough, I am one of a kind who likes to learn something new, every now and then. Much as I am more into sciences, I am open to learning other aspects of life, after all, I love forensic science, which involves daily life aspects. Through personal improvement reading sessions, I landed on a query on Quora, inquiring what one should do, if they want to write a book. It is on Quora, where I learnt of self-publishing, on various platforms. Not only was this exciting, but also relieving, as I could finally get to check something off my list. Just don’t ask what kind of list it is, otherwise, I will add you on my punch in the neck list.

Scribbling pens and rustling papers would sound cool, but it was keyboard strikes instead. First book was published, but I felt, there was more I needed to put out. The book didn’t have to be too lengthy, scaring off readers, after all, there was a lot to contemplate about. Since we a living in a technological and digital world, accompanied with my urge of saving mother nature, I decided to make my book available in only an electronic format. You may be wondering, apart from fearing to be embarrassed about writing say a shitty book, how in the bloody hell, is all that related to embracing awkwardness? Well my sweet dear angels, weeks passed by, five weeks and two days to be exact, after publishing the book, and no single copy had been bought.

This was discouraging, as I wondered as to why, no copy had been sold, yet I received many positive comments and likes, via my social media accounts about my damn book. And here is the striking part: though I had not sold a single copy of my first Poetic Short Stories ebook,  I got onto my phone’s notebook, and began scribbling out ideas for a second book. Are you shitting I? This was also shocking to I, and I still can’t figure out, how I strived to go through with it. Two months in, first draft of second book was done. It now felt more awkward, getting first draft of second book done, with no feedback, or sold copy of first book. Very discouraging and disturbing it was, but I am glad, I embraced that awkwardness, and went through with finishing and publishing second book: HeteroSexual Chaos; A Decided Entrapment.

I am glad, I abandoned all shame, awkwardness and fear which resulted, from initiating book two, before selling a single copy of book one. For now, I happily chant out: I have two published books, which I am delightfully very proud of.

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