Uncle Jim

The festive season is around crosswalks. Family gatherings are now a thing, highly encouraged to be attended by many. Luckily enough, of recent, I have not fallen a victim of these gatherings. Yes, I am aware, family gatherings are a good way of getting to know those that could be potentially related to you, as a way of avoiding to hump the heavenly hell out of them. However, at every gathering, there is always that one relative, who we shall call Uncle Jim. Uncle Jim happens to be one of a kind: a delusional perverted son of a skinny ugly whore. Given Uncle Jim’s childhood and past life story, he has earned himself a lifetime guilty free pass. Other relatives have taken it upon themselves, to clarify and verify Uncle Jim, as an intoxicated fellow, with pretty much nothing to lose. Over the years, Uncle Jim has decided to drown his liver and blood stream, in all sorts of intoxicating substances, accompanied with drug abuse. As a result, the rest of the family looks down unto him, nodding with disgrace and several disguises. Awkwardness always results, when Uncle Jim suddenly steps in front of one’s face: what to do?

Well, thanks be to pretended proclaimed politeness, which is a daily drug, sniffed by many in society. However, not many are strong enough, to hold on longer. Shit gets real with time, and such politeness explodes, like a damn opened, freshly shaken stupid soda can. For I, if I am sure we shall cross paths again, chances of pretended politeness, are very slim. Doing one’s best to avoid Uncle Jim, is an option. Unfortunately, Uncle Jim happens to be one sneaky bastard. In such a situation, there is one thing left to do: tell Uncle Jim that you absolutely have nothing to do with him. It sounds rude and not nice in any way, especially if Uncle Jim is way older than you, as society considers this as disrespect.

Let us not forget that we are revolving in the twenty-first century, in which one can find all information they need on the internet. As far as Uncle Jim is concerned, I will only respect him, on a condition that he respects his arse first. This escalates awkwardness, as of now, not only is Uncle Jim giving you the awkward vibes, but the rest of the relatives are doing the same. Sadly, deep down with in their crouched feelings, these relatives are delighted, that you said it straight to Uncle Jim’s face. It takes a lot of courage to own up to what one does, but we should always stand firm, for what we truly believe in. Over the years, one thing I have learnt and has helped I through, is grabbing decisions by the tits.

For hell’s sake, it is the damn festive season, thus don’t let it be interrupted, by Uncle Jim. In case you can’t handle Uncle Jim, and it is the festive season, a special kind of only spirits cocktail, will enlighten Uncle Jim out of your way. Keep rocking and blazing, during this Festive Season.

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